Can you say that in a prayer?

My new "small home business" has three parties this week which makes my life a little crazy so I just thought I would give some highlights from my last couple of weeks.

1.  Someone said  "heck" in the closing prayer.  Can you say that in a prayer?

2.  I asked where all the happy ducks were that I pass everyday.  The family in my ward (who owns the ducks) said their grandpa ate them while they were out of town.

3.  We have some crazy politics happening here.  One candidate is suspected of releasing the other candidates horses. ( That is serious stuff)

Finally, I have invested in any item I might possibly need from our ward library.  Trust me, it's better this way.

Happy Cinco De Mayo First Grade!

There are not a lot of Cinco De Mayo celebrations happening in Hamilton this weekend.  So of course I hosted two of my own this weekend.  The most important being Jonny's first grade class.  It was going to be epic, Mexican Hot chocolate, crafts, games, nachos (If you can count the fake gas station nachos as real nachos) and of course Margarita's.  Now I know what you are thinking,

You:  "Jill, you have lost it.  You can't serve Margarita's even non-alcoholic ones to Jonny's first grade class."
Me:  "Of course I wouldn't do that.  I am calling them "Happy Fiesta Lime Drinks."

This was the plan until a very cute boy in Jonny's class name Jose raised his hand and said  "hmmmmm, what are these?  My parents have these and I think..."

As I was leaving later that day one of the secretaries stopped me in the hall and said.  "Did you really give the first grade Margarita's?"   I answered of course not,  because officially they were "Happy Fiesta Lime Drinks."

Parent Teacher Conference

Last week (before I was hit with my crazy cold/ flu/whooping cough/Dave brought something home from the lab kind of sickness) I had Parent Teacher conference. This is usually where I hear of Ben's latest money making scheme. Ben's teacher started by asking?
"So, how has Ben liked this school year?"
Me:  "Oh, he has loved it"
Teacher:  "Good, because I would hate to have him try to get me fired."
I guess Ben's little escapade last year did not go unnoticed by the other teachers. 

I learned from Jonny's teacher that he is very concerned with personal hygeinne.  He came to her and said;
Jonny:   "sniff sniff  Do my arm pitts smell like Tuna to you?
Her: "uhhhh, no"
Jonny:  "Yea, I am feeling kind of soggy, I think I smell."
Jonny's teacher ended her conference by saying how all the teachers have started writing down things Jonny says, so they can all read them.  Apparently they all think he is hilarious.  Yea, they all think that until the cute little kid tries to get you fired.

5th grade...time for "The Talk"

Due to the nature of the world today, we had " The Talk" with Ben years ago. Whenever I bring it up again Ben adamantly says, "No, no, no please don't say the S word, let's just call it uhhh... The Happy Dance of Spring."

Last night Ben handed me a permission slip. I then cringed a little from the uncomfortable memory of 5th grade Health class. It was time for the talk. So, Dave and I did what all responsible parents do. We offered him 10 bucks if he raises his hand and tells the Teacher: "You have to wait until marriage for the Happy Dance of Spring" Knowing Ben as I do, my bet is he will be 10 dollars richer by the end of the day.

Night games brings out the worst in me

I just returned from a much needed trip to Evanston. We dyed eggs and played charades (Jenny and I count this as our super power.) We also had the Epic Egg Hunt of 2012. The great part of this trip was discovering that all the grand kids are now old enough to play night games. The bad part is I discovered my competitive side comes out during night games. (during charades there is no competition so it stays dormant. ha ha ha)


I found myself almost injuring my oldest son Nate as he scared me to death while jumping from the near-by back hoe.

I crammed myself underneath a dump truck.

I was covered in bites from some unknown insect while lying down in bushes.

The worst was when I sent my 4 year old niece by herself into the darkness so she wouldn't give my hiding spot away. I know I am a horrible aunt. I think next year I will stick to charades.


Jason also blessed his cute baby. Without Jason we would have 10 gransons and 3 grand daughters. Luckily Jason provided 4 girls by himself to even out our numbers. Here are all the girls except for Kyleigh. Kyleigh wasn't able to come because she feared I might injure her during nightgames )

"Your Killing me Smalls"

Does anyone know what movie this famous one liner comes from? I think I say this way too much. Here are a few times this month when I have said "Your killing me..."


"Your killing me... Sarah"


Sarah has started coloring on every surface she can find. She has recently finger painted with: lipstick, deodorant,flour, sugar etc. This was the third time in one day she colored all over herself. .

"Your killing me...random guy at Costco"

The day after Sarah had been punished numerous times for drawing on her hands and arms, the random door checker guy at Costco grabs her hand and draws a smiley face on it. She grabbed her hand back like she had been burned and yelled " no, no, no " to the poor Costco guy.

"Your killing me...Ben and Jon"

My two youngest sons are constantly asking for weird food. How come I don't have kids ask for chicken nuggets, and mac and cheese. No, they ask for Miso soup and Octopus for dinner. Dave always thinks these are great suggestions.

"Your killing me... anonymous girl from my ward (ok. Blodgett now) I showed up kind of late, but it seriously looked like you were trying to take out my oldest child.

"Your killing me.....Dave"

Dave has now censored two of my blogs. One about "Gollum." I have changed his/her name for the safety of all involved. The other about my happy field trip with two of my favorite people. Enough said.

I have passed my saying on to my children. Jonny had a play date earlier this week. He walked into their kitchen opened up their refrigerator and turned to Sister Appedaile. (our Primary President)

Jonny: Where are your cheese sticks?

Sis. Appedaile: Uhhhh, I don't have any cheese sticks.

Jonny: "Ugghh... Your killing me Heidi."

Hey, I am smart too!

Ben will not get any cookies the rest of the week. Every once in awhile he hints that Dave might be smarter than me. Now I know the whole PhD in some field that no one can pronounce sounds impressive on the outside but we all know better. Right? Yesterday, Ben and I were converting fractions. I know it's not bacterial pathogenesis, but whatever. I was trying to cover up the fact that I just couldn't remember how to do this when the following conversation took place.

Ben: (watching me struggle.. "Uhhh Mom, maybe I should just wait to do homework until Dad gets home."
Me: ( I try not to lash out at poor Ben for the unintentional slam.) "No, I just need to remember how to convert fractions to decimals and then back to fractions and times them."
Ben: "Maybe we should sign you up for IXL math." (An online math program to help kids who are behind)

Yea, I think that last one was an intentional slam. It's ok, we will see who's smart when he doesn't get any cookies this week.

Action Shot!

I do not have any pictures of Jonny making any shots, stealing the ball, or playing defense. I do however have many pictures of him celebrating. This is one of the more successful chest bumps.

I want some kind of refund!

There was an unwritten rule when Dave and I got married. First, I would teach the boys all about sports. Second, Dave in turn would handle all science fairs. So, you can understand my frustration. I have been doing nothing but Science Fair this week. Now, I understand that Dave had to travel to D.C. to present his own "Science Fair project." I can see how it would be stressful presenting it to the top science minds in the country, but seriously we had a deal. What's the point in marrying a science geek, if I still have to do the Science Fair.

Tomorrow, Nate and Dave will both be presenting their projects. I was going to post a picture of both their posters and Dave said that was illegal and he could get banned from all "Science Fairs" for the next three years. Yeh, I guess I won't post a picture. Good luck to both my boys in the Science Fair tomorrow and next time the boys need help with a lay-up Dave is in charge. (or maybe not)

The Curse of the Youngest

Picture this. Evanston, Wy. 1984. The four Hatch kids are happily playing next door. Jenny (the oldest) was obviously not happy having to haul the poor youngest (me) along with her on her adventures.

Jen: "Jill you have to sit on this bench until I come and get you."
Me: "Jenny, I don't want to sit on the bench."
Jen: "If you leave the bench, there is a huge dog that will come and eat you."

I sat on the bench for hours.

Inside the house playing war downstairs:
Jason: "Jill you are the secretary. Stay here and take notes."
Me: " Jason, I want to play. I can hold a gun."
Jared hands me a broken golf club and says it's my gun.
Jason: "If you leave this room, they will shoot you first."


I stayed in the room for hours, until I realized they had all left for next door and I was alone in the basement.

Today:
I walked into the kitchen to find this.
Me: "Ben, what are you doing?"
Ben: "I couldn't find my music stand."