Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I am now a believer in 4H

I wasn't a huge fan of 4H in high school. This could be because all the students who belonged to 4H were from Hilliard (A suburb of Evanston.) Now don't get me wrong, I love Hilliard. In fact I have Hilliard roots. My grandma Hatch is from Hilliard. But whenever I passed a kid from Hilliard in the hall at school, I always felt they were looking at me and saying "I could totally take you in a dark alley, or at least hog-tie you and leave you for dead." So, I was never involved in 4H.

Well, earlier this week one of my favorite people in my ward stopped by to drop off a little treat. No, it wasn't cookies or bread but BACON. Oh yea, all of their kids are in 4H and had just butchered a pig. Seriously, how cool is that? If you know me well, you know I love two things; Sugar and Bacon. So, I have decided that maybe I should make my kids join 4H after all.

Friday, September 24, 2010

He'll know if I throw away Dave's ugly T-shirt


Every time I do laundry I sense something is watching me. Then I remember, Oh yea, the weird porcelain cow head is staring at me. When first arriving here, I thought maybe it was some kind of soap dispenser or something. After close examination I realized that it is just a cow head. Weird.

Friday, September 17, 2010

I haven't apologized soo much since I shattered the sink at Taco Time

I wasn't on my A game on Wednesday. Here are a few of the apologies I had to make between the hours of 2:28 p.m. ( my time) or 2:45 real time and 5:30 p.m.

To Ben: I am soo sorry I read the wrong time and was 25 minutes lake picking you up from school.

To Daly Elementary: I am sorry I am such a loser and left my kid in the parking lot.

To Jonny: I am sorry I forgot you as well.

To Washington Elementary: I am sorry, I am not a spaz mother who never picks up her kindergartner.

To Charise: I am sorry, that when you called and told me that Jonny was still waiting to be picked up, I tried to convince you that you were "up in the night" and you had the wrong time.

To Trieste: I am soo sorry I was supposed to pick up your kid as well, and was 30 minutes late.
I am further sorry that on a day when you needed my help, the school called you, and asked why no one was there to pick your child up. Hence, you ended up having to pick her up.

To Nathan: I am sorry you were the last to be picked up on my frantic speeding trip through the town. It was only when I realized that I had been looking at the paused time left on the microwave instead of actual time.

To Dave: I am sorry, you were called by middle school to pick up Nate, because your wife was making cookies, looking at the wrong time.

To Ben: I am sorry you missed making the scarecrow for the festival because you were 30 minutes late to scouts because I was 30 minutes late getting you.

To all of the scouts in Ben's troupe: I am sorry that in my frantic behavior trying to get all my kids, I forgot to bring the scout snack.

To girl at Walgreen's: I am sorry that when running into Walgreen's after running back snack to scouts, my son knocked over your vintage bicycle and broke the seat off.

Ok, so maybe I wasn't on my B game either.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

I'm all about Relocation

Ya know, some animals are meant to be free in the wild. (Like house cats) Others are meant to live at home. We spent last weekend in one of the many beautiful canyons that surround us. Here is where we relocated about 20 very small frogs.Seriously, Why would you want to live here?
When you could live here. In a small box, in my kitchen. I wonder if the cat is equally as happy.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

I think I stole my neighbors cat

It seems like I live in my car between the hours of 3 and 8. Yesterday I packed Sarah into my very cool mini van and headed to get Ben from school and deliver him to scouts. After arriving at scouts, I opened the back door to get Sarah out. I screamed as a large black cat shot out of the car like it's tail was on fire. After the shock of being scared to death by a demonic cat, I had to start thinking of where this cat came from.

Worst case scenario: It's my neighbors cat, and I catnapped him and delivered him all the way across the valley and released him into the wild.

Best case, and one I have chosen in my mind: It's the scout leaders cat, and he simply jumped in and jumped out. Yea, that's it. I talked to the leader and she does have a black cat.
Although, so does my neighbor, and I haven't seem him all morning.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

3 Boys 3 New Schools

All three boys started new schools yesterday.

Nathan: Is now a big bad middle schooler (SCARY)
Mom: What was your favorite part of the day?
Nathan: We had a salad bar at lunch!

Ben: Transferred schools from the "Little House on the Prairie" to the one down the street.
Mom: Ben, what was your favorite part?
Ben: Blueberries for lunch

Jonny started Kindergarten, his teacher looked as old as the Beehives in our ward.
Mom: Jonny, What was your favorite?
Jonny: I had a HUGE chicken nugget on a bun!

Do you think my boys are a little tired of Ramen or mac and cheese for lunch?

Monday, September 6, 2010

The greasy coating makes it go down easier.

Certain foods are mean't to be deep fried, such as Snickers, Twinkies, Twix, Oreos, and cookie dough. Life doesn't get better than a good deep fried Twinkie. Last night we had a bunch of the youth over to deep fry our favorite foods when Ben happened to mention his new teacher. The majority of kids started yelling things like,
"Oh, she's the devil,"
"She never smiles,"
"Ohh, she is soo mean."
So, poor Ben has this for his teacher, and is still stuck with "Scary Pitbull man" as his football coach. It might be a rough year. Maybe we should start deep frying on a daily basis.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Happy Anniversary Montana!

I know it seems like yesterday that we packed up all our belongings and headed north (way north) to just short of the Arctic. We have camped, hiked, and channeled our inner Brad by fishing all the rivers. Yet, there are a few things which everyone told us "Oh, yeah, you'll get used to that." Yeah, that's not happening.

Example: You're driving down the road singing along with the radio when you turn 90 degrees (this happens when driving) and all of a sudden the radio channel changes. I took notice today on the way to football practice ( a highlight of my day. NOT!) when my radio changed 8 times mid-song. It's like an unintentional game of name that tune. It makes you soo mad you want to scream. So I have decided for year number 2, I will no longer listen to the radio. This will improve my anger issues and make driving more enjoyable. If any of you would like to send me a mixed CD, I would appreciate it.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Fire! Fire! Fire!

Hey, my little town is all over the news tonight. I wish it was something like:
"Small town finally gets a Wendy's."
"Wal-mart opening in last town untouched by Sam's goodness."
"Crazy little-league coach can't figure out who keeps egging his car."
" County in Montana changes name due to the fact that Jill can't handle the jokes, or getting calls for the Credit Union every day."


Sadly, it is because one of my favorite things about living here is on fire. I am praying that the wind stops and they can get control. Trust me, you don't want to see me if all of a sudden, I have no stores, no restaurants, and no famous view of the mountains.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Nectar of the Gods

Dave takes his Pepsi consumption very seriously. That is no excuse for the scene I recently found in my kitchen, after coming home from a meeting.