Saturday, July 10, 2010

I inhaled watermelon up my nose.

Ya know, when you are in middle school and the socially- backward, scary kid snorts noodles up his nose? Yea, that is what I felt like this last weekend. Part of the holiday festivities included a good old fashioned "Watermelon Eating Contest." I attacked my melon with vigor. It was in my eyebrows and hair and definitely up my nose. The three boys all entered in their age brackets and I was convinced I would win the adult race. The competition was stiff! Although I was happy not to see any 85 pound Asian women. (They always win these events you know )
Other Competitors were:

Kristy: Who, truthfully, I really wasn't worried about, I mean she was wearing a moo moo. No one can win who's wearing a moo moo.

Shiny head handle bar mustache cowboy guy: Definitely a problem, but I still felt like I could take him.

Richard Canon: How competitive could an eye surgeon be?

Lori Canon: Let's face it. Eating is not Lori's strong point. She still makes fun of me for eating an entire cake every year on my birthday.

I thought I had the race when a fifteen year old girl (from my ward) came from behind and barely beat me. Maybe I should have snorted more up my nose. That might have given me the winning edge.

Here's Jonny Watermelon Seed going to town - note how he scopes out his competition midway through!


  1. I'll be the one laughing when you go in for your sinus surgery and the doctor says, "Ma'am, I believe we've found the cause of your problem" and pulls out 8 watermelon seeds. *clink*clink* On to the tray they go.

  2. I was a little disappointed you weren't 1st place, Jill. Very few women can eat like you do and stay skinny. Next year I will use the "snorting up the nose" technique and you are going down!!! (Okay, I don't really believe that but it still sounds good.)