"Your Killing me Smalls"

Does anyone know what movie this famous one liner comes from? I think I say this way too much. Here are a few times this month when I have said "Your killing me..."


"Your killing me... Sarah"


Sarah has started coloring on every surface she can find. She has recently finger painted with: lipstick, deodorant,flour, sugar etc. This was the third time in one day she colored all over herself. .

"Your killing me...random guy at Costco"

The day after Sarah had been punished numerous times for drawing on her hands and arms, the random door checker guy at Costco grabs her hand and draws a smiley face on it. She grabbed her hand back like she had been burned and yelled " no, no, no " to the poor Costco guy.

"Your killing me...Ben and Jon"

My two youngest sons are constantly asking for weird food. How come I don't have kids ask for chicken nuggets, and mac and cheese. No, they ask for Miso soup and Octopus for dinner. Dave always thinks these are great suggestions.

"Your killing me... anonymous girl from my ward (ok. Blodgett now) I showed up kind of late, but it seriously looked like you were trying to take out my oldest child.

"Your killing me.....Dave"

Dave has now censored two of my blogs. One about "Gollum." I have changed his/her name for the safety of all involved. The other about my happy field trip with two of my favorite people. Enough said.

I have passed my saying on to my children. Jonny had a play date earlier this week. He walked into their kitchen opened up their refrigerator and turned to Sister Appedaile. (our Primary President)

Jonny: Where are your cheese sticks?

Sis. Appedaile: Uhhhh, I don't have any cheese sticks.

Jonny: "Ugghh... Your killing me Heidi."

Hey, I am smart too!

Ben will not get any cookies the rest of the week. Every once in awhile he hints that Dave might be smarter than me. Now I know the whole PhD in some field that no one can pronounce sounds impressive on the outside but we all know better. Right? Yesterday, Ben and I were converting fractions. I know it's not bacterial pathogenesis, but whatever. I was trying to cover up the fact that I just couldn't remember how to do this when the following conversation took place.

Ben: (watching me struggle.. "Uhhh Mom, maybe I should just wait to do homework until Dad gets home."
Me: ( I try not to lash out at poor Ben for the unintentional slam.) "No, I just need to remember how to convert fractions to decimals and then back to fractions and times them."
Ben: "Maybe we should sign you up for IXL math." (An online math program to help kids who are behind)

Yea, I think that last one was an intentional slam. It's ok, we will see who's smart when he doesn't get any cookies this week.

Action Shot!

I do not have any pictures of Jonny making any shots, stealing the ball, or playing defense. I do however have many pictures of him celebrating. This is one of the more successful chest bumps.

I want some kind of refund!

There was an unwritten rule when Dave and I got married. First, I would teach the boys all about sports. Second, Dave in turn would handle all science fairs. So, you can understand my frustration. I have been doing nothing but Science Fair this week. Now, I understand that Dave had to travel to D.C. to present his own "Science Fair project." I can see how it would be stressful presenting it to the top science minds in the country, but seriously we had a deal. What's the point in marrying a science geek, if I still have to do the Science Fair.

Tomorrow, Nate and Dave will both be presenting their projects. I was going to post a picture of both their posters and Dave said that was illegal and he could get banned from all "Science Fairs" for the next three years. Yeh, I guess I won't post a picture. Good luck to both my boys in the Science Fair tomorrow and next time the boys need help with a lay-up Dave is in charge. (or maybe not)

The Curse of the Youngest

Picture this. Evanston, Wy. 1984. The four Hatch kids are happily playing next door. Jenny (the oldest) was obviously not happy having to haul the poor youngest (me) along with her on her adventures.

Jen: "Jill you have to sit on this bench until I come and get you."
Me: "Jenny, I don't want to sit on the bench."
Jen: "If you leave the bench, there is a huge dog that will come and eat you."

I sat on the bench for hours.

Inside the house playing war downstairs:
Jason: "Jill you are the secretary. Stay here and take notes."
Me: " Jason, I want to play. I can hold a gun."
Jared hands me a broken golf club and says it's my gun.
Jason: "If you leave this room, they will shoot you first."


I stayed in the room for hours, until I realized they had all left for next door and I was alone in the basement.

Today:
I walked into the kitchen to find this.
Me: "Ben, what are you doing?"
Ben: "I couldn't find my music stand."

It's all about perspective

I just picked up my 3rd case of happy gas station cheese today. I have to order it through my favorite gas station because where else am I going to find 5 lb bags of cheese. It has been almost 1 year since I was given my cheese machine . I noticed today that there is less than .6 grams of sugar per serving. ( might as well eat a carrot) I also noticed that there are 15 grams of fat. So, in the last year my family has consumed uhhhh let's see 3 cases of cheese, 6 bags per case, each bag has about 50 servings times 15 grams of fat.....OK, math wasn't my strong subject. On to the positive point. With such a small amount of sugar you might as well eat one of my new flavors of cotton candy.

I am proud of his mad dancing skills

In sports, it's not so much about your skills on the court, as it is about the entertainment factor. Jonny has an abundance of this. The first day of practice we walked in and some random family said: "Oh! We were hoping we would get this kid on our team." After Jonny scores, he always does a victory dance. I have seen:
The Robot. (For this he ran to center court before he started and did not stop, even when both teams ran around him to get to the opposite basket.)
An Irish jig. (Last week after the Irish dance he tried to chest bump another player and they both fell down.)
Today was some sort of break-dance move. The guy sitting by me turns and says:
"I have heard of this kid's victory dances and he didn't disappoint."
When Jonny ran up to me to get his water bottle, the guy just laughed. What can I say, I was so proud.

I have a teenager!

Nate just turned 13. I don't know what makes me sadder, that he is now officially a teenager, or that I can never find size 28/34 jeans. We just had family pictures taken and Nate was excited because even in the picture he looks taller than me. I said it was because I was slouching

A huge thanks to our friend Rachel, who used her mad skills to take all of these pictures. If you live in Logan she can also take cute pictures of you. She is so good that she could probably photoshop a child to appear shorter than you as well. To see more of them go here. . http://photosbyratch.wordpress.com/

Changes

My favorite little grocery store has been sold to a bigger chain.
Positives: We now can get "Western Family."
Negatives: They took the frozen rabbit out of the freezer section.
Positive: At the lab Dave got a text saying "when you come upstairs bring rabbit serum." So if all else fails, I guess Dave can bring dinner home from work.

Some Lady Went Postal at K-Mart...Oh wait that was me.

I have a love-hate relationship with K-mart. Unfortunately, it leaned more towards the hate last night. I feel like I have started to adjust to not having any shopping except for when I have to plan some event. I started out yesterday, optimistically, searching for Wilton candy melts and pink ribbon. A couple of hours later, I was giving everyone I saw a dirty look- like somehow they were contributing to the fact that I can't buy any ribbon here. I finally ended up at K-mart where they didn't have a single thing I was looking for but I did pick up some new pens.

Assistant Manager checking me out: "Good Evening, find everything you were looking for?"

Me: "Yea, thanks"
Him: "That's great."
Me: (Realization of what I just said) "WAIT! NO, I didn't find a single bloody thing I was looking for. It is so hard to have pink ribbon."
Him: "uhhhhhh, I am sorry."
Me: "I came in for 5 simple things and you did not have one of them."
Him: (Looking uncomfortable and glancing at the people behind me in line) "Ahhh, I can give you a hug."
Me: "I hang my head in shame, say it's o.k. and walk out."