3 Hours with a Crazy, Puny, Russian Woman

When leaving for the big apple, the red eye flight seemed like a brilliant idea. We sleep on the plane and hit the ground running. When our Red Eye flight was delayed until 2:00 a.m. I was more nervous. Then, the trusty captain announced that they would make up the time in the air, so our 5.5 hours of sleep just got cut to a little over 3 hours. Then , I sat down by this crazy, puny, Russian lady.

Picture this:

Aisle/me/Crazy Russian lady

Maybe I should clarify this. She was Russian, but probably not really puny. She was just shorter than my sister-in-law Angie, which is how I determine if someone is puny.

The whole plane is dark and peaceful. (This should be obvious as people are trying to get any precious sleep they can. There is one lone TV on right by me. She is laughing and making comments. (in Russian)

2:30 a.m. I drift off in a restless sleep

2:50 Ring ring. (enter: flight attendant)

Russian lady: I neeta dose melba toost tings. Nota crackers. Conversation ensues.

2:55 a.m. I drift off lightly.

3: 15 a.m. Laugh, laugh. Change channel, laugh, laugh, Russian muttering

3:45 a.m. Dead asleep when I feel the full weight of someone on top of me. The puny Russian lady needed to get up, but her legs were so short she couldn't get all the way over me, so she is now stuck. I help her by pushing and she exits into aisle.

Some time later: She comes back, repeat of previous experience getting her back to her chair.

4:00 a.m. I give her my "look," you know the one I give my kids in public when they are in big trouble?

4:45 a.m. Russian conversation ensues. I realize that the person on her right also speaks Russian. I am guessing they were together.

5:15 Actually it is 7:15 with the time change.

Captain: (Ding) " Please put your chairs in upright position for final decent into J.F.K."

I am not kidding the Crazy, puny, Russian lady gets out her pillow, turns off the TV, and falls asleep.

I glare at her!

Somewhere there is probably a Russian blog entitled " The crazy, neanderthal, white girl who stared at me"