The gift of Hell-wench

For months I have been hearing the saga of Hell-wench. Hell-wench is a mean, temperamental cow. To our friends she is the Bane of their existence. She breaks through fences, disappears for months on end, sleeps around with other cows then comes back pregnant.
Neighbors are always calling complaining about her breaking down gates and causing havoc amongst the good little cows. So, a couple of weeks ago, I was told that Dave (the owner of the problematic cow) spotted Hell-wench in a neighbors field. He did not hesitate but took out the gun (because everyone carries guns here in their cars) and shot it on the spot.
Last week when this family came delivering Christmas treats, instead of getting the same old fudge, popcorn, and cookies we were given a box of "Hell-wench." Seriously, I have never been so excited over a Christmas treat or should I say Christmas Meat .) ha ha ha.

The phone will soon ring.

I am awaiting a few phone calls this morning. HMMM how should I proceed. I have a feeling this is how it is going to go.

Secretary: Hi Mrs Ravalli?
Me: Actually it's Revel----whatever Yes?

Secretary: It appears that your son(Insert name) is not here with us today.
Me: Yes, I have decided that since you are all Potter-scrooges, I am keeping my son home today.

Secretary: Well, I know that Christmas is in two days, but school is still in session.
Me: It is important that we eat cookies and watch Ralphie say Fudge, Fred Astair dance drunk, and Clark electrocute a cat instead. (Watch Clark on TV. Don't buy the DVD and think it's okay for your 10 yr old boy. Learned that lesson the hard way.)

Secretary: Oh, I see. You're the same mom who claimed "Harry Potter Hangovers" right?
Me: Yes, and by the way in the words of Shaggy and scooby-do, you are all Lame-tastic and Suck-tacular. Merry Christmas and HO HO Ho to you.

Or maybe I should just watch the caller ID and not answer the phone

Humility is not our strong suit

I do believe that the last month in Hamilton has been "The Revelli Show." We have been in charge of numerous ward events. Seriously, the ward can't be nearly as sick of us as we are. On Sunday;
Dave spoke in Sacrament Meeting;
Family did musical number complete with the boys singing solo's and Jonny doing sign language;
I taught Relief Society;
I served Hot chocolate and cookies;
We announced that a "Meet the Santa party" is at our house tonight(due to the fact that Santa couldn't make it to Jerusalem because of a sand storm.)

Anyway, through-out the day people would come up to Jonny and say things like:
"Oh, you were so good! It was so great! Yadda yadda yadda!" Jonny would then answer with a point of his finger and a click of his tongue:
"Yep, I'm good" or "yea, that's me!"
When the Bishop turned to Ben and said how wonderful his solo was, Ben then pointed to his own face and said,
"Yea, this is going to be a money-maker!"
It's good to have self confidence...Right?

I hate K-mart

Oh yea, I had previously decided not to trash on K-mart only because of my very happy Halloween find. I am sorry K-mart execs, but that ship has sailed. I am in desperate need of Candy Cane Oreos. Yes, the cookie that will change your life, and even though there is no "Bed, Bath and Beyond" to kill a few minutes of your time, life can still be good through these happy morsels of deliciousness. Yet, I have been to every grocery store in town and my final hope was K-mart. After the red vested girl said, "I have never heard of those," I went home and tried Nabisco.com and I even got so desperate that I typed into Google: "Please help me find Candy Cane Oreos in outer darkness." Needless to say nothing popped up.

Furthermore, I know my friend Kristy is reading this thinking "I just sent two boxes home with her for her FAMILY for Christmas." Sadly to say they did not survive the plane ride home.

There should be a warning label.

There are certain things that I just can't do. First, I can't seem to close a cabinet. Ask my mom, it really is a childhood problem. Even after knocking myself out in Denver once, I still struggle with the concept. Secondly, I would rather step over something, or kick it out of my way before I pick it up. Seriously, how many times do I have to step on the feared LEGO, or even worse the GREEN ARMY MAN before I learn? Well my lesson came last week. I was walking barefoot(the worst) when I came upon what looked to be a half eaten candy cane on the floor. I then went to kick it, only to realize that it had glued itself to my floor, and in turn cut the bottom of my foot. There really should be a label on the box "Warning if half eaten by two year old and left on floor to harden, might cause bodily injury." I think I will write the company.

Traffic, Sushi, and Friends

Oh, Blessed traffic, sushi, and friends--how I have missed you. I just got back from such an amazing weekend in Denver.

Traffic: I was so overjoyed at being back in Colorado that it didn't even phase me that 2 people honked at me on Parker. I then realized I was only going 15 miles an hour just looking at the Chinese theatre and thinking how happy their popcorn was.

Sushi: I was only there for a few days but I managed to eat this:

And this:

and a very happy burrito thing from a restaurant called something like Cafe Viarda, or Cafe vista or cafe something. Anyway, it was the stuff dreams are made of. Ask Michelle for the name of the restaurant.

Most importantly I went for this.
We were able to surprise my all time favorite 40 year old.

The Sprinkle Tragedy

If you want to be my friend you should buy me sprinkles. I take great pride in my sprinkle collection. "Oh a new Scooby-Doo movie is on, luckily I have Mystery Machine sprinkles." "It is such a blustery day. Let's whip out the Winnie the Pooh sprinkles." Anyway, it is totally understandable that yesterday I lost it with this person.

Now, I know part of this is my fault. After all, I have been very busy building Bethlehem in my great room (more of that to come) so Sarah did not get as much attention yesterday as needed. I found her on a chair next to my sprinkle cabinet. She had poured out most of my sprinkles into one soggy mess of a bowl. So, if you are my visiting teacher or just want to be my friend I am in need of tie-dyed daisy sprinkles.