The gift of Hell-wench

For months I have been hearing the saga of Hell-wench. Hell-wench is a mean, temperamental cow. To our friends she is the Bane of their existence. She breaks through fences, disappears for months on end, sleeps around with other cows then comes back pregnant.
Neighbors are always calling complaining about her breaking down gates and causing havoc amongst the good little cows. So, a couple of weeks ago, I was told that Dave (the owner of the problematic cow) spotted Hell-wench in a neighbors field. He did not hesitate but took out the gun (because everyone carries guns here in their cars) and shot it on the spot.
Last week when this family came delivering Christmas treats, instead of getting the same old fudge, popcorn, and cookies we were given a box of "Hell-wench." Seriously, I have never been so excited over a Christmas treat or should I say Christmas Meat .) ha ha ha.